Friday, October 3, 2008

I feel like the World's Worst Mother...

So here is how my day went...

I was up late last night searching the world wide web for an at home job, so I didn't get to bed until right around sunrise. Leave it to Baby Roca to pick today to wake up early. She must have heard Daddy getting ready for work. So I changed her pull-up, gave her a sippy cup of milk & put her back to bed. I laid down, too. Well, I fell deeply asleep & didn't hear her when she woke up & got out of her bed. She eventually, apparently, went outside (which we have told her time & again she is not allowed to do without Mommy or Daddy). This is not OK, of course, but I keep my front gate locked at all times, just in case of something like this happening. Unbeknownst to me she crawled under the front gate, went across the street to investigate a box of clothing the old neighbors left on the corner & then went next door to visit her boyfriend, Alex.

My neighbor's Grandmother-in-law speaks very little English & called my neighbor at work to find out what to do with her. Maria tried to call me, but because Ro gave the phone a "bath" the other day while talking to Uncle Kevin, the ringer only works intermittently. When she couldn't get a hold of me, she called the Sheriffs, thinking something was terribly wrong & I was possibly incapacitated somehow. She knows that this is not normal behavior for me; if my daughter is outside, I am out there with her.

When I finally woke up, I started looking for Ro & then there was a knock on the door.
"Hello, Mr. Sheriff." I was interrogated. My house was searched. I was petrified. I was crying & shaking. I was afraid I would be arrested & my child would be taken from me. I was told my house wasn't "up to par" & I would be checked in on again in a couple of weeks to make sure I am doing everything right.

I cannot believe this happened to me. I cannot believe my 3 1/2 year old can crawl under the gate. I am thankful, that by the Grace of God, she was not hit by a car or kidnapped. I take full responsibility for this incident. We are installing bolts into all the doors this week-end. This will never happen again (I pray).

I have been sick for almost a month now with the virus that just won't die. I took some cold medicine last night. I stayed up too late trying to find a work at home job. I fell asleep because I am sick & exhausted. My daughter got out of the house & the locked, gated yard. I was interrogated & chastised by the local Sheriffs. I was frightened to death. I made a stupid mistake. Donna Reed never had this happen to her. Neither did Harriet Nelson. Or Shirley Partridge. And never Carol Brady. I love my daughter. I would die for her. I feel like the World's Worst Mother.

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Grabbing Diva (aka your "twin") said...

Sending HUGS to you (while cancelling plane reservations for my 5 children to visit you) .... sorry a bit of humor to lighten your experience.....

It did take a lot for you to tell everyone of your experience, and hopefully those of us with young children will keep in mind how quickly they can cause mischief!

Bad kitty said...

Oh sweetheart! My heart goes out to you. That is such a scary situation. And of course they won't take into the fact that you have been sick either. You will be in my prayers. Everything will work out fine. Just keep your head up (but your eyes on that mischievous little Rowan). And know that you have friends here to support you that love you.

babyrocasmama said...

Thank you both for your kind words, I needed that! I put this up for public viewing because I want to be honest in every aspect of my life. This blog is about my struggles to not lose my very last shreds of sanity (notice how I plugged my blog ON my blog! :P ) while trying to raise my daughter well. I want my readers & friends to see me, warts & all, & still "get" that I am just trying to do the best I can by the family I love so dearly. Not everyone is going to agree with me, but at least they can respect my honesty & willingness to take responsibility when I screw it all up.

Hopefully Rowan won't figure out the new locks & do anything like this again! If she does, I guess we will just have to tether her to the couch & put motion alarms on the doors & windows! I am sure the Sheriffs & CPS would have a field day with that one...I'd probably be deemed unfit for sure!!!

Deb said...

Hey Shan.....been busy NOT killing the free range stupid....but have an employment option for what I do....go to and click on their work at home tab and YOU TOO may be answering calls for Proflowers.....LMAO It's easy.....paid training...and YOU pick your own schedule.....that may make it easier to raise the next Houdini.....what a spitfire that kid is....Do you need any duct tape? I think I still have some stored away from when mine were little.....Love you! ANd HELL NO you aren't a bad mother....once you learn how to tie real good knots and use the duct tape, it's easier...really. Come by chat sometime. Deb

Zo said...

Back in 66, when I was about two, my mother fell asleep and I got out the window and on to the roof. She woke up and went outside to look for me and when she saw where I was she yelled at my father to do something.

He ran inside to get a camera.

But if that doesn't make you feel a bit better to think about I'll remind you of this precious haiku:

shan's silk sheets slide off
ed asner's wrinkled old buns
wakka wakka time

babyrocasmama said...


The fact that you climbed up on the roof at 2 yrs old & your Dad's idea of doing something about it was to take a picture explains a whole lot about you!!! LOL :P

I still feel bad about what happened because the coppers are still annoying me about it. But your story did make me laugh!

Now about this obsession you have with Naked Ed Asner...LMAO!!


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