Monday, March 2, 2009

Mommy Dearest

So, yes, I finally did what I said I would never do...I brought my daughter to see my Mother this past Saturday evening. It was quite an experience, to say the least. I had such anxiety over this, you don't even know! It's ridiculous what seeing your not so wonderful Mother for the first time in over 10 years can do to you. It wouldn't have been so bad if my baby girl wasn't involved. But she was and there is no way around it, especially since Mom is living with my In~Laws.

I had already told my Mother, or warned her rather, not to just come rushing up to The Diva on the first meeting. Did she listen? UMMM, NO! I also told her that if she didn't follow my rules and respect me and my Husband as parents that I would just pack up my family and leave without a word. Did she listen to me? In a word, HELLNO! It was like seeing her with my Big Bro's son, Christopher, all over again. UUUGGGHHH!


Here is what happened: We didn't tell my Mother we were coming. I figured the element of surprise would be on my side and if I chickened out, I wouldn't have to make up an excuse as to why we didn't show. Th
ere is always a method to my madness, it just isn't always apparent to everyone! So, anyway, we get there and instead of my Mother waiting inside the house until we came in, she has to come running out to greet us. And when I say "running out to greet us", I mean she made a bee line for my innocent little girl like a rabid, pre-menstrual woman going after the last piece of chocolate on Earth!

I tried {op
erative word here} to tell her to back off, but she wouldn't. Rowan's reaction was "Ahhh! Queen Mommy, King Daddy! Protect me!" Yeah, that went over like a Ho in church with two pimps {And yes, our daughter calls us King and Queen. That is the only way she can be a princess, right?}! My Mother said something to the effect of "I didn't mean anything by it. I just want to love her. It's the first time I've ever seen her." or some other crap. OY! My Mother likes to scare small children. My small child to be exact! Did I mention that she wasn't wearing her teeth either? The night only got worse from there.

Every time The Diva walked {or ran} near or past my Mother, my Mom reached out to grab her. My constant admonitions of "Back off. Just let her come to you." fell on deaf, practically non-existent ears. The troops got hungry, so I ran out to Tommy's {YUUUUMMMMM! Tommy's!} to get some chili cheeseburgers and fries. Mom had to come with me...GRRRR! After we got back and I served my daughter, she asked for a napkin, so my Mom got one for her. This is fine. No problem, right? WRONG! Mom has to wipe The Diva's face for her! I told her to stop "babying" my child, that she was perfectly capable of wiping her own mouth and that she actually wanted the napkin to put over her sweater so it wouldn't get dirty. What was my Mother's response? "Oh, shut up! I wasn't doing anything wrong." Dear Lord, kill me now!

My Mom was constantly mussing The Diva's hair, grabbing her...just on her like she was a new puppy or stuffed animal. It was infuriating! I kept telling my Mother to back off. She acted like I had told her to cut off her left arm or something. Then the ultimate thing was this...Rowan was acting up, running around, not listening to me and sassing back. I told her to stop or she was going to be in trouble. She sassed me again. I told her that when we got home she was going to lose her "tent" over her bed {It's not really a tent, it's a blanket that we draped over her bed}. My Mother's reaction to my trying to discipline my child was to tell me to "Shut up. Don't tell her that. Mommy's not going to take away your tent". EXCUSE ME??? The last time I checked, Rowan was my child not yours, lady!

So I told her, in front of everybody, that she was not to attempt to usurp my authority in front of my child, especially while I was trying to discipline her. This was just classic Mom. And her reaction was almost verbatim
what I had heard her tell my Big Bro every time she pulled this crap with his son 20 years ago! "Come on, now. I didn't mean anything by it. You don't need to say things like that." Oh, my God! It's like it's on a flippin' tape loop in her head!

Then there was the part where my Mother tried to give Rowan some Sprite. I told her she was not allowed to have soda. My Mother rolled her eyes at me! She actually rolled her eyes at me! She's 63 years old for Pete's sake! By this point, I was praying for the Patron Tequila fairy to drop down out of the sky with about a dozen shots for me to slam back {and I rarely drink}.

I reiterated, "My child, my rules" many times to no avail. It was useless. The visit was pointless and anxiety inducing. There were times that night where I just wanted to push her away from my child and say "Just leave her the hell alone, already! She's not your child, she's mine and I will not let you try to mess up what her Father and I have tried
to teach her! She doesn't know you. Back the F off!" But I didn't, obviously. Boy, did I want to though!

Oh, and we dodged a major bullet because the whole way there {and on the phone with my Big Bro earlier in the day}, The Diva wa
s talking about going to see her "Crazy YaYa" {YaYa is Greek for Grandma}!! My husband and I kept telling her not to call Grandma Linda that because she wouldn't like it. It started coming out as "Crazy YaYa Grandma Linda", but by the time we got to the house It was just "Grandma Linda". Although, seeing how the night ultimately turned out, The Diva slipping and calling my Mother "Crazy YaYa" may not have been such a bad thing! {Hey, I have to find the humor somewhere}

{If you are having trouble understanding this post, go here for a bit of background info}

Here are some pictures from that night.
{Don't blame/sue me for your PTSD. You get on this ride at your own risk!}

My Mother and The Diva


Daddy and The Diva


Silly girl!

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7 comments:

Thankful Paul said...

Hello! :)

Night Owl Mama said...

Sounds like you had a rough day with her. I don't know your history with your mom but just wanted to say you have some nice pictures from your visit. Your dd is just adorable!

LadyStyx said...

Shoulda did as ya promised and left with the Diva when mom acted up. I know why you didnt...you still shoulda anyhow. If only to make a point.

Alison Cummins said...

What LadyStyx said.

... if only to make a point to yourself. That you have that option. You aren’t stuck.

STILLMAGNOLIA said...

OMG...sin the alcohol...you have MY MOTHER....she and my dad both moved in with us....working on 5 years ago. My escape....work and church (I have become very active in both). I feel for you.

ChicagoLady said...

Sounds like quite a rough night all around. Just be glad it's over, and hopefully you won't have to go through it again for another 10 years, then The Diva can decide for herself if she wants to visit Crazy YaYa.

Cheryl Podolsky said...

I'm so livid I can't even begin to thank of what to say. Then again, you know we share similar mothers, so 'nuf said.

At least it's over.

 

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