Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Asylum Tutorials: How To Follow A Blog...

Do you know how to be a proper blog follower? Most of you do. Unfortunately, many others do not. Being the follower of a blog is like being someone's friend; there is a give and a take, but no demands are made, save for respecting one another.

There is a curious phenomenon in the blogosphere that makes seemingly normal {I use this term quite loosely} people believe that your blog and it's content are dictated by them. I have heard from several bloggers about how they have gotten nasty emails and/or comments demanding to know where their certain post is or how the author cannot write about certain subjects because it's not what they like to read about. Each time I hear about this, the demands have gotten more brazen and ridiculous. Color me gobsmacked. I have yet to have this happen to me, but I am sure at some point it will.

And I will tell them exactly this:

This is my blog, not yours. I write what i like. I decorate my sidebars how I want and I have it designed the way I want it to look. If you want me to write a certain way about certain things, then it no longer is my hobby or fun and has now become a job. With rules, restrictions and deadlines. Therefore, I should be getting a paycheck for doing this.

Of course, I am always up for making extra cash.

The fee schedule is as follows:

1) Posts about my daughter $675
  • Videos add $195
  • Pictures are $10 each
2) Posts about my Husband $65
  • Rants are an extra $25
  • Intimate details add $150
  • Pictures are $10 each
  • Videos add $1000
3) Posts about politics or current events $175
  • My political views add $50
  • Posts about the other party $300
  • Pictures are $10 each
  • Videos add $300
4) Sarcasm is $600
  • Humor add $250
  • Pictures are $10 each
  • Videos add $200
5) Posts about my crazy Mother $450
  • In~Laws add $250
  • The Free Range Stupid/Rednecks add $300
  • Pictures are $10 each
  • Videos add $300
6) Advertorials $100 {This will only be copy and paste, no creative content}
  • Videos add $50
  • Pictures add $10 each
7) Reviews $300
  • Videos add $75
  • Pictures add $10 each

I will also require a blog redesign monthly by the designer of my choice. My PayPal is babyrocasmama@hotmail.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Payment is required in advance of writing the post. Article will be published when I have time. Payor will have no editorial rights.

~*~*~ OR ~*~*~

This is MY blog, Not yours. Until you pay me the big bucks, I will write, post and do what I want. Go ahead, stop following me, I care not. This world in general, and the blogosphere specifically, would be a much better place if you would get off the "net entirely and get a real life.

Go on now...GO!

To reiterate, the proper way to follow a blog is to read the author's posts, comment genuinely, even if your opinion is different than theirs, be respectful and REALIZE IT IS THEIR BLOG NOT YOURS.

I hope you all learned something useful today. Thank you for reading and for your understanding of my unique brand of sarcasm and craziness. Tongue outLaughing

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The OmniCouple said...

Great post, Shan. It's very true. I recently vlogged about an email I got from a blogger who emailed me demanding answers about my new blog. She also said some other ugly things. I don't get it. If someone suddenly doesn't like content on a blog, they can stop reading. It sounds bad, but it's true.

Cat@3KidsandUs said...

Oh Shan you're so funny. But so very right. There are times I want to blog something but feel like I can't because it will offend. But from a reader perspective, I don't read blogs with designs that are hideous, difficult to find comment forms and load slow.

On the other hand there's bloggers are out there that beg and whine for comments and complain they have no visitors and when they're told it's because of their blog format they don't do anything about it. It's a give and take kind of thing.

But I do agree, no one should dictate your content.

kasandria said...

Here Here! I totally agree with everything you said!

Haasiegirl said...

what? u mean i can write and say what i want? Shit.

LadyStyx said...

*laffin* and yet again the comments are just as amusing as the post. I love when that happens.

GrammyMouse said...

{{{sshhh I am being anonymous........}}}

Crapola lady!!

since when did you really want to be all proper and sweet??? hummmm?
Ya know darn well you are as crazeee as the rest of us...
DEal with it...

thats not what you were complaining about???
never mind.....

Miss Blondie said...

Umm...can you not write anymore how to posts because I dont like reading them. I would rather you just write press releases.

Lisa P@www.isitmondayalready.com said...

wow I need to charge hahah

Hazel said...

Love this! It's so true! I hope this is good education for those who are into this phenomenon.


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