This is just a little sample of conversations that occur in my house. With The Diva. And me, her Mama. And how I try very hard not to laugh and to be stern with her so that I can teach her that being a smart~ass to her parents isn't acceptable. I am failing miserably. She got my sarcasm gene.
Me: Rowan, stop that.
The Diva: OK, Mommy. I will.
Me: Rowan, I said stop that. Right now.
The Diva: But I have to!
Me: No, Rowan you don't have to. The only thing you have to do is what Mommy and Daddy tell you to do.
The Diva: Oh noooo I don't!
Me: Rowan, stop it. NOW. Or I will beat you like an unwanted, red headed step~child.
The Diva: OH, no you won't!
Me: Oh, yes. I will.
The Diva: Oh, no you won't!
Me: Child, do not mess with me. Do you want a spanking?
The Diva: NOOOOO! You can't catch me! Nenernenerner! (as she takes off running)
When I do catch her, she always says the same thing, "Mommy, don't spank me. I'm sorry. I will never, ever do it again." OY! She always does. Even after a spanking. I don't know about this kid. I think we got the only child in this world without any pain receptors in her butt. If this is what age 3, almost 4 is like, I think I am completely screwed for her hormone raging teen years.
Another typical conversation...
Me: Rowan, move your butt, please. (trying to get her to move out of the way for one reason or another)
The Diva: Like this? (as she is shaking her booty)
Me: (Laughing and trying not to let her know I think it's cute) No, Rowan. I meant move out of the way, please.
The Diva: Sorry! (laughing)
This is what I deal with every day. My daughter is all at once endlessly entertaining AND insanity inducing frustrating. This is my life. I love my daughter "to the moon and back". I wouldn't change a thing. I just wish I had a little more company for the ride to the asylum!
P.S.: Video of Rowan is coming. Hopefully by the end of this week~end.
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Me: Rowan, stop that.
The Diva: OK, Mommy. I will.
Me: Rowan, I said stop that. Right now.
The Diva: But I have to!
Me: No, Rowan you don't have to. The only thing you have to do is what Mommy and Daddy tell you to do.
The Diva: Oh noooo I don't!
Me: Rowan, stop it. NOW. Or I will beat you like an unwanted, red headed step~child.
The Diva: OH, no you won't!
Me: Oh, yes. I will.
The Diva: Oh, no you won't!
Me: Child, do not mess with me. Do you want a spanking?
The Diva: NOOOOO! You can't catch me! Nenernenerner! (as she takes off running)
When I do catch her, she always says the same thing, "Mommy, don't spank me. I'm sorry. I will never, ever do it again." OY! She always does. Even after a spanking. I don't know about this kid. I think we got the only child in this world without any pain receptors in her butt. If this is what age 3, almost 4 is like, I think I am completely screwed for her hormone raging teen years.
Another typical conversation...
Me: Rowan, move your butt, please. (trying to get her to move out of the way for one reason or another)
The Diva: Like this? (as she is shaking her booty)
Me: (Laughing and trying not to let her know I think it's cute) No, Rowan. I meant move out of the way, please.
The Diva: Sorry! (laughing)
This is what I deal with every day. My daughter is all at once endlessly entertaining AND insanity inducing frustrating. This is my life. I love my daughter "to the moon and back". I wouldn't change a thing. I just wish I had a little more company for the ride to the asylum!
P.S.: Video of Rowan is coming. Hopefully by the end of this week~end.
Snarky, Snarky!: Conversations With My Daughter.
http://damnvoicesagain.blogspot.com/2009/01/snarky-snarky-conversations-with-my.html
