Monday, December 1, 2008

More From The Free Range Stupid...In~Laws, That Is!

My Father~In~Law (who isn't always as bad as the rest of the In~Laws & had actually been pretty good to me up to now ) called last night to let us know that the MIL was going in today for some minor surgery (a new "port" is being grafted into her arm for her Dialysis). He then proceeded to tell me that he is bringing my Mother (The CRAZY, alcoholic one) out in January to live with him & my MIL to help take care of their house! OY!! OY!! OY!!

I wanted to reach
through the phone & bitch slap him (D'OH!!)!! I understand his need to have someone help him out at the house. With all the extra responsibilities he now has associated with the care & feeding of my MIL, he is stretched pretty thin. But my Mother is not the best choice. Not even close.

Did I mention that I am in the process of getting her into a very nice Senior Apartment Complex where her rent would be almost nothing & utilities will be included? Did I also mention that I have been working on this since the middle of June? Thanks for appreciating all my hard work, Mom.

My Mom & I have a contentious relationship, and that's putting it mildly. My brother won't even speak to her anymore. You see my Mom is a
Bi~Polar, Alcoholic, Anorexic, Manipulative, Stuck on the Cross, Prescription Drug Addict, Control Freak. Yep, that's an apt description of her. I deal with her better when she is 3000 miles away in Virginia. Not 30 miles away at my In~Laws' house.

I tried to explain to my well intentioned, but extremely naive & misguided FIL, that this is all going to go to hell in a hand basket very quickly, to no avail. He seems to think that he can "cure" my Mom of her alcoholism by keeping a good eye on her & reigning her in with rules & distractions. I told him that she does not follow anyone's rules, but does expect you to follow hers. To the letter.

This is going to be bad. Real bad.

When I spoke to my Big Bro about this last night, he laughed his ass off. He lives in yet another state & will now be even further away from Mom. Thanks, Kev! He also told me to just detach & let this situation unfold on it's own. The phrase he used was "grab a lawn chair, crack a beer, watch the fireworks, laugh my ass off & say 'I told you so'." Good advice, if I was dealing with normal people. I'm not.

I do not want my baby girl around that woman, not now anyway. She has not cleaned up her act & I will not expose my angel girl to her brand of crap. No one understands how I feel about this or why, except my brother (who heard it all), my best friend, my husband (sort of) & my
Aunt Mary (the best woman on the planet, as far as my Bro & I are concerned). The "others" think I am overreacting, that I should just get over myself & deal with it. I have been told, "it won't be as bad as you think." Easy for them to say...

As far back as I can re
member, my Mom told me everyday of my life that I was a "spoiled rotten little bitch who couldn't do anything right & everything I did do was half~assed." Nice, Mom. Thanks for that. She, of course, denies ever saying anything like that to me. Isn't selective amnesia convenient? She also told me that "she was going to take my brother & leave my Father, but then she found out she was pregnant (with me, obviously), & had to stay with the SOB." Thanks, again, Mom.

I got the SIL~From~Hell in the family gift exchange (for more on this go here & here) & my FIL is bringing my nuttier~than~a~fruitcake Mother to live with him. He has truly lost his damn mind! And I may lose what little of mine I have left! Why don't people ever stop to think about what consequences their choices/actions will have for the people around them?

Maybe I should just get them all frontal lobotomies for Christmas. That might fix the problem. I hear you can purchase gift certificates for those online...

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Kristina P. said...

Wow, and I thought my mom was crazy!!

Cheryl Podolsky said...

I think the reason why so many people downplay such things is because they've either been fortunate not to have been under the roof of one so insane, or have but can't recognize it. Either way, you know the truth, although I can tell you from my own experience that this is sometimes precious little comfort.

Too many people see my mother as a frail old woman in a wheelchair. I see Satan on his throne. My MIL is perceived as a struggling, put-upon woman-who-could-have-married-anyone. I see a manipulative compulsive shopper who spends more than she earns, is never happy, and was definitely not anywhere beautiful enough to overcome her profound lack of gray matter.

This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

Not sure why I couldn't find the "comment" hyperlink for your earlier post, but I'll just leave your "virtual hug" here!

I LOVE your blog header! Don't listen to anyone who whines about it taking forever to load. It doesn't. They might have a slow dial-up or something that makes it take longer, but it loads just fine for me.

As for the Mom thing-I feel your pain. Although my mom doesn't sound quite as "Cuckoo for Coco Puffs" as your mom, I can relate.

I can't stand it when I try to talk to someone about my mom and they just don't get it. If she didn't ritualistically beat me with a spiky stick, they think I shouldn't have a reason to complain, I guess.

My sister and I often talk about how we are the only two people on the planet who see our mother as we do...because she is only Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for US. Its like a private show that we were the 'lucky' sole winners of tickets to. No one else sees they don't get it...they don't believe it. And its maddening. But I gave up trying to explain it. Emotional abuse is real...and it sucks...and it is also practically impossible to explain to someone who hasn't lived with it.

Hang in there, sweetie! *hugs*

BTW, I am LOVING the pics you used to illustrate your point about your mom! lol

The Head Eagle said...

I've got a few in-laws that remind me of yours..maybe we should get them all together and let them take care of each other. It sure would make things easier for the rest of us!

ChicagoLady said...

I don't envy the position you are being put in. I'm thankful to not have any dangerously crazy family members. My only advise is to make sure you do what's best for you and your family (husband and child), not your mother or FIL.

ChicagoLady said...

I did try the Stopwatch timing page. Very interesting. My blog took about 3 seconds to load (not much there to load) and yours took about 28 seconds to load. I do know that your header is NOT what takes that much time. It is the ads and widgets down the right side. That being said, I agree with you, that if you don't waiting for the page to load, you don't have to read the blog.

I look forward to reading this one, so I don't mind waiting the extra few seconds.

*Virtual hug*

Ann Tracy said...

Oy Vey.... just wait until your FIL realizes that Mommy Dearest will always be at the bottle until she decides to stop. I grew up with an alkie mom who when she gave it up finally, my sister and I thought we'd have a sane mom. Well we realized that she was crazy to start with and the booze was a medication for her. Best of luck in a sticky situation.

The OmniCouple said...

Yikes!! Sadly, your Mom sounds like mine was through my growing up. She is well now (medicated and has had much therapy). I am sorry you had to deal with this drama.


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