Friday, January 16, 2009

This Is What My Husband Will Hand Out In A Few Years...

Yeah, like he is going to let anyone date his daughter! PFFT! He'll be on the front porch with a shotgun when these poor boys come to call! Our poor Diva won't be able to date until she's in college, far, far away from her protective Daddy.

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_________________________________________

DATE OF BIRTH______________

HEIGHT__________ WEIGHT___________ IQ________ GPA_________

SOCIAL SECURITY #________________

DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_________________________ CITY/STATE__________ ZIP_____

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain:

__________________________________________________________________


__________________________________________________________________

Do you own a van? _______________

A truck with over sized tires? _______________

A water bed?_______________

A pickup with a mattress in the back?_______________

Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a navel ring? _______________

A tattoo?_______________

(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?

_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Church you attend _________________________________________________

How often you attend _______________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? ____________

pastor? _____________

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are
confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

_________________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

_________________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

_________________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

_________________________________________________________________

What do you want to do IF you grow up?

_________________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _____________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS.


_____________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).

Thanks to On The Verge for this one.
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12 comments:

Julia said...

Oh, I think I will copy that for MY future use. I am just as scrutinizing as my husband. Maybe even more so. That is funny.

Jo said...

I think I need this too! We've got about 14 years to go but DH is alredy stewing about the prospect of Sadie dating! LOL

Andrea said...

Hello from BSU!
My daughter is only 4 but this could definitely come in handy for the future!! LOVE your blog!

The Head Eagle said...

I'm pretty sure my husband had to fill something similar out! Good thing he made it past this...

LadyStyx said...

Hey now, that's a great idea!!

On The Verge said...

Thanks for the link. Not a problem. With four daughters, I know I am going to need many copies!

Queenie Jeannie said...

I've seen this before. It's just as awesome now!!! Great job!

Queenie Jeannie said...

There's an award for you on my blog.

Audrey said...

That is too funny!! Might have to copy and paste it then revamp it to work for girls wanting to date our sons!
Wonderful blog - found it through Jeannie.

Mimi said...

Funny! Luckily I have 2 boys.

And Rick Springfield, yes. I have some great pics of him in concert last year including some of me with him (he looked great, I looked chubby). I even had him sign an old album!

ChicagoLady said...

LMAO! Native American Ant Torture, never heard of that one!

That's hysterical!

Yaya said...

Love it! boyscout rank....Lol!

 

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