Sunday, March 22, 2009

My Autobiography...

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This week's topic is:

I Would Call My Autobiography........Because......?

Well, now, isn't that an interesting writing prompt? Let me see...there are many things I could call my autobiography...

The Asylum Diaries

How To Survive A Crazy Mother

Sometimes Being Crazy Is A Good Thing

How To Be A Stay-At-Home-Mom And Still Save For Your Kids' Therapy Fund

Motherhood Ain't All Laughter And Roses

Because I'm The Mommy, That's Why!

I Did All This Stone-Cold Sober!

Exactly When Will My Life Start To Resemble All The Things I Read In Those Books?

If You're Looking For Donna Reed, Go Look Somewhere Else!

Cleaning Is A Four Letter Word

Organization? What's That??

Martha Stewart Is Evil, But I Want Her Decorating And Craft Skills

Will I Ever Get The Laundry Done??

OK now for the "why" part...Ummmm, have you read my blog???

Why would I pick any of those titles? Because, that is my life. I grew up with a seriously crazy Mom and survived it relatively unscathed. Motherhood really isn't all "wine and roses" like the books tell you and neither is pregnancy for that matter! Being a Stay~At~Home~Mama is can be harder than an 80 hour a week job doing manual labor. If you weren't born crazy, then you will become a serious nut job just from being a Mom. After becoming a Mom, a clean and organized house will just be one of those distant memories that you are not absolutely sure is real and not imagined.

And if you have an attitude, your child will, too. At first it will be cute to see that particular quality manifest, but once your Husband starts saying "She's just like you" over and over, ad nauseam, it won't be so cute anymore. Then you will likely start wanting to beat your Husband about the head and neck with a blunt instrument {a cast iron skillet works well} each time he utters that statement!

The one thing I have learned is that for as much insanity my child causes me, I never knew how much I could love someone until I gave birth to her. Obviously I already had a deep connection with The Diva because she grew inside my belly, but it became even deeper once I laid eyes on her. But even having said that, you will want to run away to a tropical island at least once during Mommyhood, if not weekly!

Now that I see it all written down, though, I think the title of my autobiography would actually be The Asylum Diaries and all the other "titles" would be chapter headings. What can I say? I've never fit into a box. I cannot be categorized or labeled by just one thing. I will never fit into someone else's mold. I march to the beat of a different drum. I am...unique. Or at least I am in my own mind! HA! HA!

4 comments:

LadyStyx said...

Mine would be: Like the Phoenix, I Will Arise from the Ashes. Between a failed first marriage and the depression I fight from time to time, it's a very appropriate title.

Cathy Davis said...

HA HA HA HA

You've got those topics right! HA HA HA
Thanks for stopping by my latte world!

Tina said...

Ahhhhh! You are scaring me. I want to have a baby soon and I was thinking about being a stay-at-home-mom. I'm going to give this some more serious thought.

I think a book on How to Survive a Crazy Mother would be a bestseller!!! You should do it. I'm totally serious.

Bee and Rose said...

My personal favorite..Cleaning is a Four Letter Word!!!

I love all of your titles! I could use most of them myself!

 

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