Last Shreds Of Sanity

Showing posts with label I Got Your Funny Right Here. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here...

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Thursday, June 18, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here!

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Thursday, June 4, 2009

Well, I Give Her/Him/Shim Points For Creativity

While checking my hotmail email account this evening, I found an email from *noreply@google.com*, with the subject "MIRANDA LAWSON invites you to check out MIRANDA LAWSON".

Here is the email as it appeared in my inbox:

Subject: MIRANDA LAWSON invites you to check out MIRANDA LAWSON‏
From: noreply@google.com
You may not know this sender. Mark as safe|Mark as junk
Sent: Wed 6/03/09 9:07 PM
To: bbyrcs@hotmail.com

I'm following MIRANDA LAWSON and think you'll be interested in it as well. To check it out, follow the link below:
mirandalawson{dot}blogspot{dot}com/?psinvite

"CLICK THE LINK ABOVE AND FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS "

-----
Google Friend Connect helps people with common interests discover interesting sites and interesting people. To learn more, visit http://www.google.com/friendconnect

This is the BLOG {and sole post} the link sent me to, which is under investigation by blogger for Terms of Use violations:

Miranda Lawson

Dear Friend

Please I sincerely ask for your apology to intrude into your private life.I am Miranda Lawson,born in 1987,The Only Daughter of my late parents Mr and Mrs Lawson from Angola.

I will like to brief you little about my family and what led me to contact you. My father was an oil facilitator throughout his life time. He left home on 3rd sept ember 2001 to meet his partner in united states of America for a proposed project.Regrettably that was the last eye we set on him because shortly after sept ember 11th he stoped calling us, it was later confirmed through the media that he was involved in the ugly incident of sept 11.

Shortly after, my Mum also died of heart attack on 18th of january 2004.
Before his death, my father deposited the sum of 16.4 million United States Dollars with an annual interest of 4.290 deposited for the purpose of establishing an oil extracting company with the partner in united states, with my name as the next of kin.All documents relating to the deposit of the fund is safely with me.

I made inquiries with the bank where this money is deposited and was told i cant make any withdrawals because the fund is protected under the backlays/cash-in-Transit policy contract with American International Group(AIG) to guide against any case of false claim.

I was advised by the bank to get any older relative who can stand with me to process the transfer of the money to a duly acknowledged account overseas.

My reason for contacting you is that i dont trust any of my relatives and can not reveal this secret to them. I want to deal with somebody very far away, way from the memory of my past.

Now I want you to act as my guardian so claim the 16.4 million in my father's account. If you do this for me,I will be forever grateful to you. If you accept to give me this great help,write me back without delay. Get back to me with the information below.(mirandalawson@live.com)

Yours sincerely,
Miranda Lawson

Pulling on the heart strings by using 9/11? That's just completely reprehensible! AIG is the bank??? The biggest scam artists in the effing world?? You have got to be kidding me!!??!! Those Nigerian scam artists are getting craftier {But, alas, they still can't spell or compose a grammatical English sentence}! Oh, and did you notice she never once said anything about letting me have part of the money? Sneaky!

There is a website out there on the world wide webby that actually plays games with these imbeciles. They send them all kinds of things like old refrigerators {C.O.D., of course}. They even record the telephone conversations and post them on the site. My Big Bro told me about it a few weeks back, but I cannot remember the name of it. Damn, I would have posted a link to that here AND given the link to Miss Miranda Lawson on her fake blog! Yeah, I'm a bit evil sometimes. So???

***Update: I got the website address it's called The ScamBaiters and it is HILARIOUS! Go check it out! I highly suggest you go to "The Mugu Museum" and "TSB Videos" at this site. It's about time someone got a little entertainment out of these scammers.***

Do they really think that just because it's a BLOG post that we won't figure out that it's just another form of the Nigerian Email Scam?

Just for shizzles, go take a look at these two sites...then flag them to blogger!

http://fidelitybank.blogspot.com/

http://nikiaaniver.blogspot.com/

***Note to Scam Artists: We aren't that stupid! You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig! And it's still gonna smell.***

At least she/he/shim didn't say they were a Nigerian widow dying of cancer, looking for a truly Christian person to help them...

My Good Cause:{This has been extended for 3 more weeks}
KSS Fundraiser

Blogging For A Cause:

Please Help My Big Bro

Want To Read More? Go -->>

Monday, June 1, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here!

Yes, swimsuit season is upon us...Damn those designers for thinking that you must be a size 2, stick thin and built like a 10 year old boy to wear a bathing suit! GRRR!

***Clothing designers, please note: Curvy girls like to go swimming and sunbathe, as well. I would really like to see some of you fit into one of your own "creations"...feel comfortable and look good! How about designing clothing for REAL WOMEN??? Oh, sorry, that would mess up your "vision" and the "line" of the garment...my bad.***

Well isn't this quite funny...I Googled my nickname and this is what came up:

Shan

[shahn, shan]

Show IPA –noun, plural Shans, (especially collectively

) Shan.

1.	a group of Mongoloid tribes in the hills of Burma.

2.	a language spoken in the Shan States and belonging to the Tai group of languages.

Shan

(shän, shān)

n. pl. Shan or Shans

A member of any of a group of tribes inhabiting the hills and plateaus of northeast Myanmar (Burma) and adjacent parts of China, Laos, and Thailand.
The Tai language of the Shan.

adj. Of or relating to the Shan or their language or culture.

Shan⋅non

[shan-uh

Show IPA –noun

1.	Claude El⋅wood [el-wood] Show IPA , 1916–2001, U.S. applied mathematician: early developer of information theory.

2.	a river flowing SW from N Ireland to the Atlantic: the principal river of Ireland. 240 mi. (386 km) long.

3.	international airport in W Ireland, near Limerick.

4.	a female given name.

Shan·non

(shān'ən)

A river, about 386 km (240 mi) long, rising in north-central Ireland and flowing generally south and west to the Atlantic Ocean through a long deep estuary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found this at Infertile Myrtle's place:

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.

Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Dang it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever seen these commercials for the Trunk Monkey? They are hilarious. I actually saw them a few years ago and laugh my arse off each time. Enjoy!

I wonder what would really happen if the internet just up and died one day....

My Good Cause:{This has been extended for 3 more weeks}
KSS Fundraiser

Blogging For A Cause:

Please Help My Big Bro

Want To Read More? Go -->>

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here...

Hello Darth Kitty, from Planet Pastel Sanrio. Are you easily distracted by shiny objects? Does your light saber match you helmet? Are you wearing a Hello Kitty "cup"?

I chose this because it had a reference to my fave, Rick Springfield.

And it's funny.

I found this over at Blogging Matilda, and "enhanced" it a bit.

{My daughter has this same print hanging on

her wall..minus the "enhancements", of course!}

The ShamWow Dude got arrested...

That'll teach him to play with those damn "For Rent Agents" LOL

This is what marriage is really all about . . .

He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything. The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything." As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you're waiting for?'

She answered . . .

{This is great}

***************** 'THE TEETH!!!'***********************

This takes the scripture "and the two shall be as one" to a whole 'nother level, dontcha think? LOL

I hope you enjoyed my funnies for this week. Check back in again next week for another edition of I Got Your Funny Right Here...

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here!

Does your girl have a pretty face but not pretty hair? Too anxious to wait for your 2 month old to grow some luxurious locks? Longing to make your daughter even more attractive to pedophiles? Are you sick of your baby always coming in dead last at all those Baby Pageants? Want your girl to be on Toddlers and Tiaras now? Tired of always correcting strangers who think your baby girl is a boy? Is your toddler sick of being called "baldy" at the playground? Then I have found the answer for you....BABY BANGS!

Now your precious angel can have a full head of realistic looking hair without expensive surgeries or a membership to Hair Club for Babies. Available in several different shades to match your baby's true hair color. It's not a wig, it's Baby Bangs! Your infant or toddler will think it's her own hair {And so will everyone else!}. It's just that comfortable and life-like! Check out the pretty elastic headband! {Also available in several color choices} Order Baby Bangs! today in time to make sure this year's family Easter pictures will be the best, ever!

Baby Bangs is not freaky or scary looking at all. You will not have nightmares about this precious thing coming to life and smothering you while you sleep. Your daughter is sure to thank you for this amazing gift when she gets older and sees ~~that her Mama dressed her up like a Ho on Sunday~~ the beautiful baby pictures. Trust me.

{This product is not endorsed by Last Shreds Of Sanity, Baby Roca's Mama, The Asylum, or any of our Voices or affiliates, nor is any endorsement implied in any way. }

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now this is just....STOOPID!!! Is this supposed to be like that loud "shooshing" the author of The Happiest Baby On The Block says to do in your baby's ear to get them to calm down? Cuz that doesn't work either. I should know, I've tried it all!

Don't forget about our weekly game, Shan's Week~End Wordles this Saturday. Please go here for instructions on how to participate.

Happy Thursday!

Want To Read More? Go -->>

Those Damn Voices Again....

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Well, I Give Her/Him/Shim Points For Creativity

Monday, June 1, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here!

Shan

Shan⋅non

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I Got Your Funny Right Here!

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