Yes, swimsuit season is upon us...Damn those designers for thinking that you must be a size 2, stick thin and built like a 10 year old boy to wear a bathing suit! GRRR!
***Clothing designers, please note: Curvy girls like to go swimming and sunbathe, as well. I would really like to see some of you fit into one of your own "creations"...feel comfortable and look good! How about designing clothing for REAL WOMEN??? Oh, sorry, that would mess up your "vision" and the "line" of the garment...my bad.***
Well isn't this quite funny...I Googled my nickname and this is what came up:
Claude El⋅wood /ˈɛlˌwʊd/Show Spelled Pronunciation[el-wood]Show IPA, 1916–2001, U.S. applied mathematician: early developer of information theory.
2.
a river flowing SW from N Ireland to the Atlantic: the principal river of Ireland. 240 mi. (386 km) long.
3.
international airport in W Ireland, near Limerick.
4.
a female given name.
Shan·non
(shān'ən) A river, about 386 km (240 mi) long, rising in north-central Ireland and flowing generally south and west to the Atlantic Ocean through a long deep estuary.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Dang it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever seen these commercials for the Trunk Monkey? They are hilarious. I actually saw them a few years ago and laugh my arse off each time. Enjoy!
I wonder what would really happen if the internet just up and died one day....
Bad grammar is something that drives me insane, really. Does no one ever proof read their posts or comments? I do let a lot slide because I know that people are trying to do things quickly to pack the most stuff into their little bit of blog love time, but please proof read your posts. Please?
I have felt for a long time that kids do not have any idea how to actually compose a proper paragraph, much less a sentence these days. And with the advent of text messaging and most everything else associated with the digital age, they apparently don't feel they need to do so anyway. Why they were even going to teach Ebonics {a made up street "language" that is "spoken" by many African-Americans and thought to be a real cultural "tradition"} in some Northern California school districts!
Imagine my surprise when I visited LadyStyx's blog this morning and found this little ditty by Sister Salad. I was laughing so hard, I almost peed my pants.
I sent this over to Trisha at MomDot because she was razzed last year about the grammar, or lack thereof, in her blog posts. She got this posted up before I did. DRATS! But because not every one of my readers visits either MomDot or LadyStyx, I decided I would post it as well. I think it's hilarious and quite clever. I hope you enjoyed it.
And here's a bouncy, fun, Guinness~fueled sing~a~long...
This is just perfect! Could this be any worse for a staunch Republican/Libertarian second generation Irish~American girl? Only if Obama was Catholic or Protestant or a member of Sinn Fein or the damn I.R.A.!!
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