Saturday, May 9, 2009

Me And My Mom~Oil And Water~I Am Me: MomDot's Small Talk Six

Those MomDotters are at it again...Small talk Six! On Saturdays.

Today’s topic is
Six ways I am unlike or like my Mother" You can answer this with a list of 6 words, 6 phrases, 6 sentences, 6 paragraphs, 6 photos, 6 videos, etc . . .

Six ways I am unlike my Mother? Well if that isn't a loaded question! My Mother and I are like oil and water, we just don't mix. You only want me to list six? There are several thousand...

1) The obvious: My Mother is a Bi-Polar~Manic Depressive~Alcoholic~Anorexic~Control Freak~Prescription~Drug Addict. I am none of those things. OK maybe I'm a little control freaky, but not militant about it {Hello? Have you met my child? It's impossible to be a control freak with her around}.

2) I am not stuck on the cross. After that Dolly Parton movie came out, the one where she played a pseudo talk radio therapist, my Big Bro and I started saying "Get off the cross, Mom, somebody else needs the wood," every time she pulled her martyr crap. Which she did on a daily basis.

3) I do not think of my child as a possession or want her to fit into some box I created for her {Her actually listening to me and doing as I tell her would be nice, though}. I want my daughter to be who she is going to be, even though that process drives me to the brink of insanity most days. She is a gift from God and is perfect just the way she is. Period. She does not have to respect me just because I gave birth to her, I need to earn it {But at 4 years old I do think she needs to learn how to respect me and her Daddy. Learning the real meaning of it will come later.}

4) I don't think the world owes me a living nor do I think anything that happens to me or because of me is always someone else's fault, rather than my own. I take responsibility for what I do, my Mother does not. I do not now, nor will I ever laud something I did for my daughter over her head in an attempt to guilt her into acting, doing or being the way I want her to act, do or be like. {See number 2}

I will never say the state my life or well being is the fault of my child. I will, however "blame" The Diva for the stretch marks that make my body look like bad Appalachian road map and the dead sack of flesh that is now my lower abdomen {C~sections are so much fun}. That is simply factual, not an attempt at martyrdom. Every part of my forever changed body is worth having because it made me become her Mama.


5) My Big Bro told me the other day that hearing me talk to The Diva reminded him of the way Mom used to talk to me when I was little. Can we say shudder and want to slap Big Bro?? One of my goals/missions in life is to never do one thing as a Mother that my own did to me. Apparently I have failed, at least according to my Big Bro. I need to work on that one, I guess.

However, I always thought that a parent saying "Because I said so, that's why" in response to their child's pleas of "Why" was a cop out. Surprisingly, that is what good parents are supposed to say, I read it in an article in Parenting Magazine and everything! Now I actually say it to my daughter, just like my Mom used to say to me. Damn it! Opening your mouth to reprimand your child and hearing your own Mother speak is truly frightening.


6) I encourage my daughter's independence, privacy {To a point, of course} and exploration, no matter how much insanity it causes me. My own Mother did not, she smothered us. So much so that I applied to East Coast Ivy League Universities {Well, any University that was more than a days drive or 3 hour plane ride away, really} in the hopes of getting away from her!

My Mom has opened my mail, including credit card bills and letters from friends detailing extremely personal experiences all because they came to "her house" and, by her definition, that is what gave her the right to do so. She would also berate me if she did not like the contents of said letters or bills even though they had nothing to do with her, nor were they any of her business.


7) I feed my daughter well balanced, healthy meals {Most of the time}. She is only allowed to have candy and sweets on rare occasions and cannot have any soda at all. I cannot say that about my Mother. She let me drink a Coca~Cola with breakfast starting at 5 years old! Every day.

As a toddler/preschooler, I can remember going into the kitchen while she was cooking dinner and being given raw fat sprinkled with salt to munch on! Can we say EEEEEWWWWWW???!!! This is why I suspect I was anemic at the age of 6 and had blood in my urine, which scared the hell out of me. I thought I was dying. To this day, I become anemic quite easily. Thanks, Mom!


That's my list folks. I answered the question honestly. As for who I am most like? That would be my Dad. I guess I was born on his birthday for reason, huh!


Happy Mother's Day!

8 comments:

I am Harriet said...

You sound like you've learned a lot from your mom and that you really have your stuff together.

Happy mother's day!

The Mud Bug said...

Pop is my vice as well. I was allowed to drink it when I was little and now it is hard to eliminate. Happy Mother's Day!

http://mud-bug.com/2009/05/small-talk-six-a-mothers-love/

Heather said...

I'm more like my dad too, and was always much closer to him than my mom. Me and my dad have very similiar personalities. My mom wasn't bad though, I can say she never gave me fat with salt, she did try to hide all sweets from us though, which had it's own problems.

Kelly said...

I'm sorry you didn't have the best mom. But it sounds like you are learning from her mistakes and will do a much better job as a mom yourself.

PS. That's good to know that I am supposed to say "Becauase I said so". I usually only use that one after several "whys"

evelester said...

it is always good to learn from our mothers and know what NOT to do!

Intense Guy said...

Happy Mother's Day!

*Hugs*

KSS said...

One thing you all need to know about our mom is that- pretty much everything my sister says is true- but mom was basically a child bride with a 7th grade education from a tobacco farm in North Carolina. Now in mid-1960's North Carolina marrying a man 19 years your senior wasn't that unusual. But I think it led to problems down the line. Our dad had his own set of issues as well, so we got a double whammy.

As for the Diva, she loves her Uncle Kevin and he adores her right back and that's all that matters.

I just hope she doesn't start assaulting people with small sauce pans like her mother used to do! There's a kid who wanted her way! ;)

babyrocasmama said...

Damn, Kev! You still sore {pun intended} about me hitting you over the head with the saucepan? I was what, all of two years old? LOL

That should have given you a lesson not to mess with me, but sadly it did not! You're such shit sometimes, Kev! But I love you anyway, Big Bro.

 

Those Damn Voices Again.... | © 2008~2009 Last Shreds Of Sanity™ ~ Baby Roca's Mama™ ~ All Rights Reserved |